What’s wrong in the world that full of promises and of course lies. I was able to tell my self do I look like every one else that can smile in times of happiness or just saying I’m okey when they all laughing. I’m supposed to call it off, nakakasawa, nakakapagud tumawa dahil malungkot ka at magpakitang masaya kahit ang totoo, sakit na sakit ka nah. Pag -ibig kulang ba ako nun o sobra?. Di ko hiniling na magkabf o magkaasawa kaagad, gusto ko lng ng kalinga ng taong nagcare sa akin. Matagal tagal ko na din palang di nararanasang mahalin ka ng sarili mong ama. Yung times na moment nio, ung times na kulitan nio at yung times na gagawa kayo ng makagkasama ng project kse di mo kaya yung mga yun. Naalala ko pa ung gumawa ng sariling orasan. Si papa gumawa ng orasan gamit ang hawakan ng gifts at ang mga tanzan sympre alam na, 90 bgrade ko nung grade 4 ako. Ung moving arms gamit ang illustration board, sympre 90+ ulit grade ko. Ung soil,sand and stone inside the box na nakikita sympre anu pah 100 na grade ko. Pero things change dahil sa bagay,bagy eto, magulo, gumulo at gulo gulo pa din. Sana maayus nah, Sana maging okey nah, ang dami kong iniisip. to be continue

I got home from Cavite even though, I did not met my favorite cousins still I will go back there again. What is it all about well, base on what I’ve heard my cousin just got a job in Singapore how fantastic, yah and I envy her for that. I hope that God will help me go there and find a job, but I must prepared to go in the U.S rather in Singapore but still if I can make it in both country. I’m happy that I can go to the different country with the help of my relatives. Hope I can pursue my dreams with the help of God and my family. I need to study the in design even though I don’t heard it before still I want to learn it but when I search it in Google it was so interesting and this thing is what I want, design things like magazine. Well good luck me for learning new things. I need to focus and I need to drop the attitude of mine so I can go there. It’s gonna be an exciting if I can go with them this coming July, huhuhu I want to go there. ahryt :) Happy . Ineed to focus and I don’t want any distraction like boyfriend. :)Goodnight

I wasn’t supposed to love you but you came then it happen. As time goes by I still crying for the same person after all. I’m hurting inside and  you don’t care. I cannot go back and i don’t want to go back because we were not meant to be and we will never meant for each other .I love you and that’s all I can do to prove it to you. I will not fall past again after what happen not because I love you ,it because there is still pain in my heart that you made. Hope I can forgive you and hope I can be happy like you do. I’m sorry for hurting you but you hurt me as much as i hurt you. Please no more heart breaks , please no more lies and please no more plastic. Please stop playing girls and please stop playing heart can I be the last person that you hurt. I’m not doing this thing because of you . I’m doing this thing because I don’t want you to hurt other women like you do to me. I don’t know how can I forgive you when the time that are we going to meet. I don’t know if I will be happy,sad,angry or just nothing. I know it will happen and I know it will be soon. As long as there is broken heart inside me and the thing that we did is still sinking in my mind I think I am angry at you. I don’t know what did you do to make me like this but one thing is for sure I hurt so much that I don’t know how to perfectly again to someone. I want to vanish this anger that live in my heart, I don’t want to plant any anger inside of it and I want you to help me to please forget you. I love you yes i do but I don’t want to be with you anymore not because the feeling is gone because there is so much pain that I feel rather than happiness that we are together. I want this anger will disappear like Jesus get all our sin. I want to forgive you, I want to say to you that I am not angry anymore. I want to do that because I love God and I want to change my life not because I want to it is because God want me to be a good servant that will serve him no matter what happen. I want to start new life with him but how can I do that if I have this anger with me please help me to forget you even your name that make me mad every time I hear it. I want to change, I become born again in faith and even all my sin is vanished and my life become new because of God. Help me to pray that my anger for you will disappear. I know you will do that please help me to pray. Thanks and hope your anger to will be vanished away like an air that just passed away. Goodnight .

Thank’s God for everything, I surrender all my life to you. This is your body ,This is not his body nor mine that’s why I don’t have any freedom to take it away from you. I love you God .sorry for all wrong that I’ve done and hope you will forgive me every time I do some temptation. help me also to put all the anger away. Thank You so much God in Jesus name you son everything will be okey Amen.  

Tinatamad na ackoh pumasok ahuhuhu… I can’t stand it anymore, na magpretend na ayus lng ang lahat peo ang totoo hndi sia ayus ahuhuh… I make my life miserable and in the end i want to escape from it. Walang pagbabago ,walang nadagdagan, nabawasan pa nga weh, kainis aman uh… Tinatamd na talaga aQ,gusto ko na magwork, ang tagal pah kse 1 yr pah kse weh,kainis aman uh kainis talaga, kaurat tas wala na aQng taga cheer sa buhai koh, haiist ang boring talaga, ang panet, kainis, kaurat talaga…. Haist sana marealize nio na ang hirap magaral, problemahin ang pag aaral, problema sa pamilya, magmahal at masaktan . ang hirap nila pagsabay sabayin huh. Haist sana may isang tao na handa aQng icheer at gabayan sa lahat ng gngawa koh bukod kay God ahihihi. Sana lng aman …

February 13,2010

Akala ko di na matutuloy ung team building sa grand villa, kase were late na but I guess ,sa amin talaga ang opportunity na iyon. So aun at exactly 6:30 am narating na namin ang grand villa. It’s okey aman doon cute ng mini hotel nila that has only 3rd floor. We first eat our breakfast with egg, hotdog and rice then we go upstair to watch the voting election then we had a task to do, first we must think of our group name and our group name is “Sta Rizal” kahit unti kami masaya naman kse sama sama aman kme ng mga friends ko. After that we need to have a yel and explained  the qoutes that i got in the wide screen. Sumunod gumawa kme ng mini tower that consist of toothpick and bubble gum that we chew(eeew) , we got only 8 pts there ang bagal kse nmn kumilos. Sunod na ginawa nmn is we go down in the eating are to eat our lunch. Our lunch are rice with veggies, piece of chicken and menudo and also a juico to drink. Pagkatapos we need to wear our pangswimming dahil sa ground na ung susunud namin na paglalaruan. Sa ground we first play the “spider web” then “tumawid sa kabilang place using 4  square of renolium and consist of 8 memebers” then “ang pagulungin ang jolen sa 8 pipes at mashoot sa isang basket” .Pagkatapos nagbilang kme ng 1 to 5 for another kagroups tas ang buhatin lng ng member using 2 magkabilang daliri ang isang mahabang small steel hole pababa at sabai sabai. Ang huli na amin ginawa ang pinaka nakakatuwa sa lahat ang hanapin lahat ng kagroup mo na nakablind folds at isigaw ang sinabing isigaw niyo at isinigaw nmn ay “manny” Katuwa ang laki kse ng bunga bunga ng friend ko ,kaya kme ang unang unang natapos sa game na iyon. Nang matapos na ung lahat lahat ng game ay nag kumain kme ng meryenda na Lasagna with bread and ice tea. Nang matapos kame kumain at nagbigayan na ng certificates at 20pts lng ang nakuha nmn so sad pero masaya pa din.After that may cocktail party that consist of 1 red horse, 1 the bar at 2ng matador with 1 mini size na cornic. #ng tagay pa lang ng redhorse na puno sa basong plastic eh nahihilo na aQ kaya nagswimming na lng aq with my friends para matangal ung hilo koh. Lumangoy aQ ng lumangoy para mawala pero meron pa din kht unti hanggang nagsiuwian na kme. Madami kme nakilala kht suplada aQ at ayuko sa ibang nagpakilala at nakilala koh peo still medjo happy pa din aQ kse nakaswimming na aQ after 48 yrs na gusto ko magswimming sa pool at lumangoy ng lumangoy hanggang maperfect ko ung moves ko sa paglangoy. Nang pauwi na kme may isang guy na nagtanung skn kung pde a daw magpakilala I said “yah sure” then he said again “ate pde again then I said again “oo aman” then he asked me “ate may asawa ka na ba” I replied “ang ganda ng tanung moh ,wala” sa inis ko nag walk out aQ. Kahit na naninigurado lng sia still I don’t like him. Buti  sumaya aQ pagkauwi nmn guess what , masaya lang talaga aQ. Paguwi sumakit boung katawan koh hanggang ngaun na parang magkakasakit aQ. I don’t care about the valentines, coz I don’t have one since birth , dati mero n kaya lng naudlot magkaaway kse kme nun. Kaya still valentines is just an odinary day for me. Ngaun namomoblema aQ sa case study nmn what shall I do?, I need to stay focus pero gusto ko ng break, restart life. Gulong gulo na utak ko sa kaprogram na hindi nmn ngrun nakakainis. Sana matapos na aQ gusto ko magpahinga at matulog ng matulog. haiist. Monday again panibagong problema sa buhai gudluck sa akin.